In case you are wondering, the title is a tribute to John Reuben. The whole purpose of this post is to get people caught up with how Matt and I are doing.

So right now Matt is interviewing with a major company in Pennsylvania. I’m really excited about it. To be honest, it’s an answer to all of our prayers and exactly what we are looking for. Right now we just need to get through the interview process. I’m just going to ask that all of you keep us in your prayers. This would be a major life change.

A new addition has been added to our family – his name is King Henry. He’s our new Betta. He’s been having some tummy troubles since we got him (not unlike me, I suppose), so I’ve been trying to take really good care of him and hopefully he’ll be feeling better in no time.

And Caleb just had his 3 year evaluations. He’s delayed. It’s not really a big surprise. He was delayed in cognitive, social, and adaptive skills and they still have at least one more area to test him in. The bad news is that he’s not where he should be for his age. The good news is that he’s making a lot of progress and that he still qualifies for services. Provided that we are still living in Washington, he’ll be going to a pre-k special education program with Central Kitsap school district in the Fall. He’s been recommended for the Autism program. I’m really nervous about him going to school, because he’d be going every day, and he’ll likely be taking a bus(!) to school. As far as how he’s really doing – he’s doing pretty well. He’s talking a lot more and even using full sentences which is new for us. Just yesterday he did something to get in trouble, and I told him that he needed to say sorry and give me a hug. He said, “What did I do?” I explained to him that he wasn’t listening and that he made mommy very mad. He said, “why?” So, he’s catching on to conversations. He still stims a lot, though, which in and of itself wouldn’t bother me too much, but when it coincides with an almost obsessive need for things to work a certain way and a sense of posessiveness, it can turn into all out battles. But, we’re doing good. He’s doing good. I’m very proud of him for all he’s accomplished.

Annnddd, me. I’m learning to play guitar. It’s a very SLOW, but rewarding thing to do. It’s been a dream of mine for about a decade now, and I finally get to have that dream. I’ve also been learning how to wash fleeces and hand card fleece. It’s been incredible!! I was recently told about selling in farmer’s markets and I’ve already had people ask me for business cards because they wanted to buy handspun from me. It’s a shame that I haven’t gotten more done before now, but I’m going to concentrate some effort into preparing a lot of “stock” and trying to sell my fiber crafts at the farmer’s markets in the area.

So that’s it for now. Nothing really groundbreaking here.

I have been finding myself in a conundrum lately. I keep wondering what I’m doing with my life. When will I be satisfied with what I’m doing, what to do about the things I’m not satisfied with, and how to change myself to be who I want to be.

I often find that I am unhappy with myself because of an inaccurate perception about what life should be or what other people do and are. I suffer from depression. Probably a lot more than that, but I don’t have an official answer. I’ve never felt very secure in who I am, and I noticed that lately, that’s becoming problematic. I’m finally facing a time in my life where it is important for me to realize what I expect from life. I know this probably seems like an insufficient explanation, or rather an underexplained idea, but suffice it to say that me and my family have been going through a lot in our short years that we have been forming.

I have decided that I am going to take my knitting and spinning more seriously. I’m considering being a full time designer, but I have my reservations. I am worried that I won’t have time for anything else, that knitting will seem like a chore, and also that I’ll never finish anything. I worry that it will never come to anything, that I’ll never feel successful, and that my time will be wasted.

I also feel often that I’m misjudged. I have been seeking approval my entire life because of many circumstances, but it is difficult for me to do anything without some sort of validation. The more that I fail, or perceive that I’ve failed, and the less validation I get, the more that I struggle with my identity and the more I feel like giving up. I often feel misunderstood, like people don’t understand me, and perhaps don’t want to.

I struggle to find friends, to find people that are like minded. Often when I do, I get hurt, and then I struggle even more the next time. I’m finding that my perceptions of myself are often low, and usually negative. I wonder if this affects the way that others treat me, or if this is the reason why I’m so often let down. I honestly don’t know.

I guess today I just felt the need to lay out what’s been on my mind. I wrote this nearly a year ago and saved it as a draft. I think I wanted to wait to post it because of how depressed I was. Anyway, now that I’ve had a chance to reread it, I decided to go ahead and post it.

I’m going to begin doing reviews of patterns, yarns, and other spinning or knitting related stuff from now on. I feel like I have a lot to say about the things I use, and would like to put it out there. If you’d like me to try your product, pattern, or other fiber related product for review, please contact me!

Cascade Spindles

When I went to Madrona fiber arts festival a month ago, I was a woman with a mission. I wanted a wood spindle that would have excellent balance and work for a range of fibers and weights. I need a work horse spindle that I could rely on.

I browsed many booths, but my eyes laid upon the beautiful spindles from Cascade Spindles. The gentleman at the booth told me that if I was comfortable with my drafting techniques that a heavier spindle would spin longer and might work well for me. He asked me to try the spindles with some fiber he had on hand. I was so impressed with his knowledge and kindness. I tested the spindle out and fell immediately in love with it.

The spindle I purchased is a Mt. St. Helens version. All of their spindles are named after mountains in the Cascades. They are beautiful, each done with different types of wood. My spindle is very well made, and the craftsmanship is quite evident. It is extremely well balanced and I’ve made everything from lace weight to super bulky on it in the last month. I have spun silk, alpaca, and various wools with no trouble at all. And it does indeed spin for a very long time.

Image property of Cascade Spindles – shown here for informational purposes only.

I usually have something negative to say about everything, but in this case, I can’t think of one flaw in this spindle. I wholeheartedly love it and haven’t used anything else since I bought it. I am afraid for my checkbook that I will be a repeat customer when money allows.

So, without further ado, here is the contact information for Cascade Spindles:

Terry Turpening, Kent, WA
Email info@CascadeSpindles.com
Phone: (253)639-2076
Fax: (253)639-2700

As many of you know, I have a debilitating stomach problem. I’m not sure what causes it as I lack the necessary insurance and funds to have the tests taken at this point. I know that my diet plays a huge part in why I get sick. For whatever reason, eating one food can make the difference in how I feel for days.

I decided to keep track of what I’m eating and to eat fairly simply so that I could track what was making me sick and how I felt. I have slowly realized that soy has become a major problem for me, which in compound with dairy being a problem results in drastic life altering diet changes. I have eliminated 90% of soy from my diet to see how it has changed things and I cannot believe how much better I’ve been feeling. I have had energy, felt rested and generally just felt well this last week. Until today… I think potatoes are another trigger and they are causing some problems.

I know that eliminating soy must have made me feel better, because it’s incredible how much worse I feel now that I am actually sick. I think when you have any type of chronic illness you get used to living in a state of sickness all of the time. You don’t realize how much pain you are in compared to the average person. It’s a state of being, rather than an illness. I’m grateful to be feeling so much better, but it only makes me realize how much worse I’m doing when I’m sick.

So far major triggers include – soy, dairy, potatoes, alcohol, and coffee (from a pot). A few minor ones include msg and garlic. Of course, I’m still watching my diet to see what is causing problems. It could take me months or even a year to figure it all out, but honestly, it’s worth it to me to have a full life. I can’t live with this pain anymore.

… and for those of you that have never experienced major gut pain, I can only liken it to labor pain. I would rather be in labor than have these attacks, because at least at the end of labor you receive a precious child.

So, I ask for your encouragement, and your prayers. That I might make it through all of this a better, happier, and healthier person.

There’s a giveaway at Annabelle’s Art – I happen to love the greeting cards they sell. They are high quality and one of a kind. I only wish that mine were as good as theirs! Check out the giveaway here. Check out their shop here.

The New Year has left me thinking that there is so much possibility in the future. 2010 was not a great year for Mattheu and I. We had a lot of hardship, and though we are bound to have hardship again in the future, I feel like 2011 is going to open new doors. I have set resolutions, of course, but I hold them more as guidelines than I set them as rules for myself. The biggest thing I am hoping to accomplish this year is to be more optimistic about life.

I’ve been picking up my Bible again and rediscovering my love for the Lord. I’ve never quit looking toward him, but I did have my sights on him less than I could have or even should have. Now I’m reminding myself why it’s so important to see him. He has the answers. He has the power. He is the only one truly able to leave me comforted, content, and with peace. I’ve been studying Job, and also the beatitudes. I feel like there is so much in the Bible that I can discover, even as I reread passages that I’ve read many times before. God has so many lessons to teach me. My lifetime will be spent as a student, learning his lessons.

I am also rediscovering my love for music. I love music with all my heart. Many of you know that I’m very creative. I love to paint, draw, knit, and many other creative hobbies. You may not know that I love music. That I write music. That I love instruments. I’m hoping that this year I might be able to get the guitar that I’ve always wanted. I’ve wanted one for years, but just never had the money to get one. So I’m hoping. I’m hoping I can get back to creating and studying music. I find that I express myself well through music. In the meantime, I’m listening to music. I’m being inspired by it. All types, Celtic, Classical, Rock, all of it. I love music. ♥

What do you hope to do this year? Do you have any goals or aspirations? Please tell me! I’d love to know what you are hoping to do with your life.

I am going to make an attempt to be normal today. That is, I’m trying to blog more often. I really enjoy reading others blogs, particularly those of people like the Yarnharlot. She makes me laugh, she makes me cry, but most of all, I identify with her, one crazy antic at a time. Anyhow, it’s my goal from here on out to post daily or at least a few times a week. I’ve been way to lax in my posting.

A few things that have been going on:

1. I still have too many works in progress (WIPs) for both spinning and knitting. I’m obsessed with all things fiber/wool, and have made it my mission to increase my techniques.

2. I’m still sick. I still don’t know what it is, and I’m still in a lot of pain. I can’t fathom living with this forever… but I don’t feel much hope based on what doctors tell me. I have to remind myself that God is in control, not the doctors, though.

3. Caleb still isn’t really talking. We’ve made it a point to enter him into early intervention and they are helping us come up with a plan for how to deal with his struggles. We should know very soon what that plan entails. I’m nervous for him, but also hopeful. I know that no matter what happens, God is at the center of it.

4. Matt and I will have been married for 3 years this coming week. It’s been fast and slow all at once. I can truthfully say that we’ve endured a lot more than most couples in our first three years, but we’ve made it this far and we’ll continue to strive for a God honoring marriage. I’m proud to say that I’ve married to him. He’s strong, he’s loving, and most of all he’s put up with me!

Anyway, that’s it in a quick, sort-of recap.

Now onto the fun stuff. So what have I been doing with my time, you may ask? For starters, each day is a struggle just to get out of bed, so a good majority of the time, I’m just busy trying to live. A lot of the time I’m trying to get caught up on the mountain of projects that I took on, not realizing just how much work I was heaping on myself. As a result, I’ve dubbed next year the year of selfish knitting, because I need to limit myself to what things I want to do for myself, rather than trying to do everything for everyone else. That’s not to say that I don’t love the people I’ve been knitting for. I do, it’s just that I think I got in over my head.

In other news, I’ve joined an amazing group named Bundles of Joy. They do some awesome work on a reservation in South Dakota. I’ve begun to participate in a few of the projects for their newborns, but my favorites so far have been the ones for the preschoolers. I love to help others. I think the reason that’s true is because it reminds me of how blessed I am. Some people look at me and may not see much to be thankful for. To be honest, I have some sort of sickness, struggles with my child’s speech, unemployment for over a year, and sometimes it’s difficult to see the positives in all of it. However, there are people that have less than me and are grateful for everything they have, and it helps me to see how blessed, how rich, and just how amazing my life is and can be.

Right now the projects that I’m most enjoying working on are a pair of plain socks (my first real pair for myself), a baby sweater for a family friend that’s expecting — check out the Mariner Pullover from Interweave Knits Weekend (it’s being knit with an awesome brown, sage, and yellow yarn and handmade buttons), and a scarf that has just the right amount of lace. I’ve been discovering some new yarns that I just absolutely adore. Malabrigo Rios is amazing, and also Mini Mochi is one of my all time favorites. But, I have also been pleasantly surprised by the Knit Picks Imagination yarn that I’m using.

Also, I’m exploring some new spinning techniques. I hope to have two projects worth of yarn spun up this month. It’s really exciting to explore the idea of spinning to knit, rather than spinning just for the sake of spinning.

Anyway, thank you for reading my thoughts. I’ll be posting more often. I think tomorrow I’ll talk about my adventures with core spinning and I’ll talk about my new yarn because I’m looking for ideas for it. It’d be especially awesome to talk about my plans to take up natural dyes. Stay tuned.

Here I am, once again, without having posted anything in several months. Who could blame me? I started college classes in Sept. and boy has it been a wild ride. I really enjoy the classes and I’m learning a lot about writing which is helpful to both my business prospects and also very helpful to my writing abilities anyhow. Right now I’m in my second block of classes and am still waiting to hear what my final grades are from the last two classes. I would imagine I did fairly well since I had A’s before the finals. Anyways, you’ll have to forgive me for not getting back sooner.

I have immensely grown in my knitting abilities and have learned how to do many skills in the last six months. I have enjoyed knitting a lot, however, I can never seem to find the patterns I’m looking for. I look for a type of item, can’t find a pattern I like, and VOILA! I decide to create my own. I have at least one in the works right now and hopeful more to come in the future. The one I’m working on now is for a Christmas present, so I won’t post it here, but the point is, it’s looking fantastic. I am hoping to have it test knit in the coming month or so and then I’m putting it up in my Etsy shop for sale! My Etsy shop for those who have not been is at  EWELOVEWOOL.

Anyhow, I have learned how to cable, do colorwork, make stitch markers and jewelry and many other techniques, but in this case, those are the things I can remember. I decided to only make handmade gifts for a few of the people in my family for Christmas. I am trying to avoid the knitterly meltdown that is supposed to happen on Christmas Eve when most knitters are trying to finish one present and have to do an entire knitted item in one night.

In the news of Caleb, he’s getting big and growing up. He’s already almost 3 feet tall and weighs 30 whopping lbs! He walks and talks and well… makes a lot of messes. He’s learning how to eat with a fork and spoon now, albeit not well, but I’m proud of him for figuring out how to use his hand eye coordination. He has also learned how to dance to music and it’s quite cute. He also had his first haircut in October. His hair was so long that he had a mullet. His hair is still curly on top, but we are just keeping it much shorter now.

Matt lost his job back in September, so that was quite a shock and a big bummer. Hopefully he’ll find a new job soon, but right now it seems that will have to wait until after the holidays barring a miracle. I figure that most people are not hiring before the break. Matt’s basically looking for any kind of job that involves his skillset including data, programming, web design etc. For now we are just trying to be smart about everything and trying to get through it.

In other news, we have had the “swine” flu running around in our house and we were very sick! Caleb got sick first which isn’t surprising, then me (also not so surprising) and then Matt… which was a bit surprising. He rarely ever gets sick when Caleb and I do. We are all doing well, but we have just been carrying tissues, medicine, water and soup around.

Trying to forge family traditions and because we aren’t exchanging presents between Matt and I we are talking about doing a turkey dinner, baking and going to see a movie on Christmas. If you didn’t know, the new Chipmunks movie is coming out on Christmas Eve. Matt and I happen to have a gift card for the theatre and are using it to our advantage. I have never made a big deal out of Christmas dinners because that’s not what we did at my family’s Christmas, we always did Christmas breakfast. Then our big family Christmas with all of the extended family is on the 26th. My grandparents will be joining us from Arizona, which should be exciting!

Well, last but not least, I’m test knitting for a wonderful designer known on Ravelry as Fickleknitter. She has done some very awesome designs and now I’m test knitting one of her newest a scarf with dropped stitches. I have pictures of my progress on my Ravelry page. I am knitting a wrap version of the scarf in 100% lace weight Alpaca in Brown. The color is stunning and the weight of the wrap is as well. I am super excited to get further in this because of how well it’s turning out. I can’t wait to have it around my shoulders. If you would like to see Fickleknitter’s projects, patterns or blog you can find her here.